5 Reasons you may be a Satyr and a Few Safety Tips

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Maddy Schneider writes, Satyrs are mythological creatures.

Satyrs are mythological creatures. They are goats from the waist down, and have tiny goat horns sprouting from their heads. Some satyrs have goat ears as well, but others do not. They are very smart, always enjoying a few quick tunes on their reed-pipes. Satyrs are very talented creatures. You might see someone acting funny. Beware, they could actually hiding their secret of what they really are: a goat person. These are 5 reasons you might be a satyr yourself…1. You are always in a mood to chew. Sometimes you might chew on your mom’s nightgown or your dad’s shoe box.2. You can create reed-pipes out of reeds. When you try them out, they work.3. You are always very hungry. If you divided all the food you had in one day, you would have had about eight full meals total.4. You have a very hard head. If you accidently bang heads with someone, you would just think it felt like somebody doing a high-five with you except on your head.5. You walk like every step hurts you. That is because your goat legs’ fur or wool is so thick, it makes you walk differently.There are a lot of complications if you’re a satyr. You have much to hide, and if anyone finds out, you’re are in big trouble. Here are a few safety tips to keep your secret safe…1. Always wear long pants, even on the hottest days of the year. You must always have on shoes in front of people. Do not wear socks over your hooves. There is no need, and that would just stretch them out. It would make your hooves very uncomfortable, so just wear shoes. Do not try to put on socks.2. Act normal. Don’t chew on tinfoil or any of that stuff in front of anybody. The only people who should know that you’re a satyr are your parents. They wouldn’t tell anybody. No matter how tempting it is, just concentrate on something else and eat real food.3. When you’re taking a shower or bath, the water will flatten the fur or wool on your legs to your skin. It will be very uncomfortable, so you should try a variety of things before you slip on your clothes…A1. Try blow-drying your fur or wool. It would take at least twenty-minutes, but you would get used to it.A2. You could ruffle it up over and over until all the water began to evaporate.A3. You could just ignore the horrible annoyance and just struggle to get your pants on. The wet wool or fur would stick and it would be very hard.These are very important tips. If you’re a satyr, remember them! They crave the great god Pan, so if you feel a sweet, gentle wind in the wilderness, that means the great god Pan is telling you your secret… You are a Satyr, and be proud of it too.

3 COMMENTS

  1. I did a project on satyrs…
    I did a project on satyrs for an English paper a couple of weeks a go. Nice guidelines, there funny and true.

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